I know the piano knows something I don't...

Having just spent the last half hour sitting in silence sifting through this mass hurricane mess in my brain, I find myself once again sitting at my desk with a glass of red wine and my fingers pounding away on the keyboard. I'm contemplating me, my life, where I am now and where I want to be. There's something about the future that is so thrilling that it scares the crap out of me. At this point of my life, I have come to the place where I am looking for direction. What do I want to do? Where do I see myself? Most importantly, who am I and where do I belong? I'm at this place where only I can figure out what I want. No one can make that decision for me. Clearly, others can influence me, but it is I and I alone who makes the final call. When it comes to that point where the ball is in your own hands, it's not the easiest to decide where to throw it. Especially when you're an over-thinker and over-achiever like myself. I have these dreams that are constantly on my mind. I see myself there in them, but it's like I'm stuck. Too afraid to throw the ball because I'm too afraid to fail. Yet at the same time there's so much I want to focus on and all are at different ends of the field. Where the heck do I start? They're all my passions and I eventually want to achieve them all, but when it comes in which direction to angle myself in, I'm lost. So here I am standing still, my future in my hands. Time is passing too fast and I am frozen. And that irritates the life out of me. So decision: I'm going to do it. I'm going to throw the ball. I'm going to step out and do something crazy, challenging. And if I fall on my arse, so be it. Decision made, just don't ask me my plan of action, because I still don't have a clue...