What the fuck?
When every thing I try to achieve or even do just blows right up in my face, the urge to "loose it" is way too present. Push. Pull. Tug. Toss. With force comes fury and tagging along not too far behind is destruction. What do you do when you feel like you've come to this place where you don't know what the heck you're doing? Or know who you are? Your inner core has darkened and all motion has come to a halt. You become numb. Your once desires seem mindless. Try as you might to break free, nothing seems to work. Every thought in your brain starts swimming, you can't grasp onto anything. Your chest is closing in on you and eating away at you at the same time. To think straight or even breathe makes you feel like you've conquered something. You look back to what you used to be like and see the strength and the passion inside of you. How did you come this far? How can one who knows who they are and what they want in life come to the point where they have no clue or motivation to even live?These thoughts send the thinker plummeting down to the next level. Here darkness seems to be even darker and the air even thicker. The ground beneath you is sinking. Every wall you could grab onto has crumbled at your grasp. You are truly alone. Convinced that even if you scream for help that no one would hear, you drop down, hugging your knees. A shiver goes down your spine. Emptiness. That's all you feel. Lonely silence eats you alive. Even if help did come, hope has diminished. There's no use on going on.
Apathy has taken a hold over you.
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